microwaved stove top & powdered mash
don't knock it 'til you try it
My roommate is making lasagna and tamales today. I’m on call for work. I’ll be contributing microwaved Stove Top and powdered mash (my two favorites), watching Happiest Season and A Bad Moms Christmas, and waiting around to get paged.
Honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I have loaded feelings about Thanksgiving, for sure. Hopefully not a hot take for most of you. I’ll try to be nothing but grateful. That’s what we’re supposed to be, right? On this day of all days.
What else is there, besides gratitude? There’s no such thing as a happy thanksgiving in the traditional sense - you’re kidding yourself. Even if you are somehow able to look past the Indigenous violence and cultural appropriation,1 you still have a cornucopia of other stressors fed by society’s overzealous expectations of family togetherness.
There’s plain old logistics. Who’s bringing what? Who’s cooking what? And where? And when? Is the meal at noon or at 3:00 or at 6:00? How are we cooking everything in time and keeping the rolls warm and the gravy from congealing or lumping or doing whatever gravy does? Does anybody have a spare oven? Maybe we can use the neighbor’s. Fuck it - maybe we can just order takeout. I’ve heard people do that sometimes.
Crisis averted. Now we just have the social anxiety. Depression. Eating disorders. Special diets. Who’s vegan and eating no meat? Who’s keto and eating only meat? Body dysmorphia. Body shaming. Body positivity. Who’s sticking to their diet and who’s “cheating?” And who should maybe think about going on one?
Go easy on each other out there. Family holidays bring out a lot of disordered eating and thinking, especially those centered around food.
Maybe your family has a healthy relationship with food. I don’t believe it, but I commend you. Now we just have the football versus the parade. Who’s helping too much, and not enough? What about the elephant in the room? Are we talking about the election? Or pretending it didn’t happen? Who’s doing the dishes? Who did them wrong? Who’s getting too drunk already? (Me, it was always me.) Who’s sneaking out to go to the bar? (Also me.) Who ate all the refrigerated stuffing leftovers at 3:00 AM after they snuck back from the bar? (I plead the fifth).
Granted, this is all assuming you have a Thanksgiving. A family, given to you or chosen. Assuming they speak to you, that they accept you. Assuming you have a safe place to go and a warm meal to share with people who care. Sometimes that’s too much to ask.
But that’s no fun. Why am I being such a curmudgeon about such a wonderful fucking holiday? (That’s the response I get whenever I’m honest.) It’s a day off work. What more do you want? Can’t we all just have a nice meal together without making everything so heavy, so controversial, so political? Sure. Far be it from me to deny you an opportunity for green bean casserole and cranberry Jello. I’ll just be over here swimming in a sea of congealed gravy and feelings and trying not to drink. But that’s why we have gratitude to fall back on. (Along with Stove Top and powdered mash.)
I went back and forth about whether to end this post here, but instead I have included my own personal gratitude list below. You may think it’s totally corny and cringe, and you’re not wrong. Doesn’t mean it’s not happening. If you want to skip ahead, please do, there’s a video of a pug on wheels at the end. Be thankful for him, if nothing else.
My gratitude list
*If I somehow left you off, it’s not because I’m not thankful for you. It’s because I waited until the last minute to get this post done. Do gently let me know and I will happily add you in. (How embarrassing.)
My ancestors and spirit guides. The PNW. Trees & ghosts. Rain & the beach. Coffee. Ice cream.
My amazing family. I don’t know very many people who can be as honest and open with their families as you’ve allowed me to be. After decades of lying to you and myself, being able to live authentically is a wonderful gift. Thank you for supporting me the most.
My all-time favorite humans on this planet – my niece and two nephews. You guys make my heart sing. I’m sorry I don’t show it enough. I can’t believe you are little adults now. Keep killing it.
Dave & Parker - my best friends, my roommates, my ride or dies. Thank you for sharing your lives.
My fellow engineers, who will likely never see this. They have helped me through more rough patches than they will ever know. (If they did, they would probably demote me.) My boss who is no longer my boss, but I still cherish and miss her deeply.
My friends who continue to put up with my bullshit no matter what. My market family who took us in and kept us alive. Friendships from long ago that I am delighted to be rekindling. Friendships that were lost to time that may one day resurface.
All the many wonderful paranormal and spiritual teachers, investigators, podcasters, writers, artists, and content creators who have fed my soul this past year. To
and and everyone who has given me the opportunity to investigate your spooky locations.
To Substack: The word “community” gets appropriately thrown around a lot in reference to this cozy corner of the internet. I think it’s all of that and more. It’s finding your people and relishing every word they put out in the universe, every morsel they toss your way. It’s vulnerability and jumping out of the plane, but it’s also the parachute that catches you, time and time again.
It’s shedding old layers and digging deeper to the truth. It’s finding your voice, and experimenting with art. It’s being able to succeed by building each other up. Shifting your mentality away from yourself and more towards finding others, promoting others, for no other reason than they create stunning pieces of art. It’s not being able to resist hitting “subscribe” when you already have too many articles saved, that you tragically may never get to. It’s waiting for the fucking trash collectors to move along so you can proceed with the 700th attempt at getting the perfect voiceover.
Sometimes I think it might be friendship. Sometimes I think it might be love. I am feeling very proud and very fortunate to call this place home.
I am thankful for the many brilliant authors and Substackers who have supported and inspired me, who never stop teaching me how to be a better writer and person:
, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , and so many, many more….
Finally, to the beautiful humans who choose to subscribe to this newsletter:
I can’t thank you enough for making this such a fun and gorgeous place. Your love and passion know no bounds. You make me smile and you make me think and you make me grow. Getting to express myself creatively is a dream that feeds my littlest inner child. I will savor every moment of this magical experience. Thank you for being genuine, for your immaculate vibes, for your constant generosity. Thank you so much for being here.
I hope you all enjoy this holiday in whatever capacity you are able. Unless I get paged for work, I will be around all day – feel free to DM if you need a friend. In the meantime, here is Parker the pug on wheels, to hopefully make your day a little better2:
If not, there’s always microwaved Stove Top and powdered mash.
Hauntingly yours,
dreary dendrophile
If you enjoyed this post, please hit the heart or restack buttons. It entices others to find us. Feel free to comment on anything and everything below – I’d love to hear about your holiday plans or the thing that you’re thankful for or feel free to come for me if you don’t like my curmudgeonly ways. That’s totally fair. I’m still grateful you’re here.
Check out Reimagined Newsletter article about some actions you can take to decolonize Thanksgiving.
Video reel made using Instagram. Song is Happy To Be Here by Wookiefoot:
This post made me laugh, nod my head in passionate agreement, and then tear up a little. Truth. And then - the cherry on top - Parker the Pug. Thank you for starting my Thanksgiving day off right, and for including me among your list of Substack folks for whom you are grateful. I am very grateful to have met you here. Oh! And that song! Definitely going on a playlist or two. 💜
Thank you for acknowledging me among the many Substackers. I really enjoy your work. You have such a wonderful spirit. I also appreciate your authenticity. I especially love the PWN and Seattle images. It’s getting cold 🥶 outside. Time to bundle up! x