four the longest time
happy soberversary to me
Leaves turned upward, almost white. Begging for rain. Some begin to shroud themselves in red.
Smoke and blackened trunks line the road, a field of pine needles, minus the pines. The further north we go, the cooler it gets. More leaves dipped in rust. So many hawks. So many eagles.
I stand over a suspension bridge, Watching my shadow hover Above icy blue glacier water. Peace.
I remember the first time I came to British Columbia. It felt foreign - like entering another world. Maple ice cream and ketchup flavored chips. But now it's just a day trip.
I stand and watch the crowds go by. I watch the waterfall that Bella scaled During her first official hunt. (If you know you know.)
*Also shoutout to for sending me on this journey to the Cascade Falls searching for Chinook salmon after reading her most recent hopeful headlines.
I travel to PoCo and PoMo And worlds in between. Barns and farms and mountains of green. All in a day's work.
I sit in an ancient jail cell. (Not my first!) Meeting spirits from the past.
I listen to campfire stories. Monsters and ghouls. Headless corpses. Raging possession and mindless hunger. I visit haunted places And I marvel at the stars.
And I come home to my haunted friend. She wakes me with a fearless grin. Moves candles and turns on my galaxy lamp. I adore her.
I am the haunted hiker. The psychopomp. The ghost huntress. The writer. The artist. I am the linen sheet Clinging to the clothesline Rippling out into the air Letting go and wrenching free.
Today I am officially four years alcohol free!
Holy bananas!
The world is a shit show and I am alive with gratitude. How can that be? Children are starving in Gaza and we are using “lethal reptiles” to manage immigration. What a world. I am trying to keep my head out of the sand, as powerless as I feel.
But today I find myself reaching for gratitude in addition to rage. My life has been radically peaceful and incredibly fun lately. I can’t help but be grateful.
Grateful to be here. Grateful to live in one of the most beautiful places on the planet. Grateful to have work that is aligned with my passions and values. Grateful to go on adventures and connect with spirits. Grateful for this community. Grateful for what I already have. Grateful for balance. Grateful to be alive.
“We have to create.
It is the only thing louder than destruction.”
-Andrea Gibson
I have the privilege of a peaceful life. I have the pure joy of creating art. And I have the sheer delight of being able to share it all with you. Thank you.
P.S. Project Semicolon
You may or may not know that I had to get sober four years ago when I was blacking out daily and feeling suicidal. To celebrate my one year sober, I got a tattoo of a semi-colon fading into black crows that are flying away.
What does it mean? The Project Semicolon website states:
“A semicolon is used when an author could've chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to.”
To celebrate my four years sober, all proceeds from any paid subscriptions this week or one-time donations will go to Project Semicolon, an online community that centers around mental health awareness and suicide prevention.
Thank you all for being such amazing humans. I love you to the stars and back.
Hauntingly yours,
dreary dendrophile
Gorgeous writing, Lyns - made me hanker for more BC time. 😊 And big congratulations on your soberversary. 🙌
Congrats to you dear, it’s certainly an accomplishment. You’re very strong and endured so much in your young age. Blessings to you…