a beautiful visit (cont. 2 of 2)
This year I welcomed May by installing a bird feeder and bird bath, planting several pots of local wildflowers, and participating in a ritual to communicate with my deceased loved ones, lead by Rachel Stavis (@rhstavis).
She directed us to set out pictures of those we wanted to interact with, write down our intentions, and burn a tea light start to finish. The spell was successful.
You may or may not know that besides communing in nature, I’ve also been learning mediumship for the past 6 months, and I work to communicate with spirits daily. So I wasn’t expecting any major experiences outside of the norm, but I was certainly open and excited about the possibility. I set out a few of my favorite ancestor altar photos. In a moment of nostalgia, I also set out my sweet pug Clementine’s picture from before she passed in 2016. The tea light burned down.
I had to work late that night, but the spell was supposed to last for 3 days, so I wasn’t too concerned. At work I heard a few surprising knocks and bangs, but my coworker was able to explain it away, so I didn’t think much of it. Happy to debunk if it’s warranted.
I got home after midnight and focused on making dinner and relaxing before bed. I started seeing shadows out of the corner of my eye in one spot in the room. Not a distinct shadow like a person walking down a hallway, but more like a shift in the atmosphere, some might call it a dark mist, it felt like the air was dark and moving.
Granted it was after midnight and I was exhausted, surely it’s possible I was seeing things. Oddly, the shadowy air remained that way, softening but not completely going back to normal even when I looked at it straight on. In my experience, when someone sees a shadow figure or paranormal oddity, looking right at it or shining a light is a sure fire way to make it disappear.
A month prior, I attended a professional seance at the Oregon Ghost Conference, and several of us in the room noticed the Spirit shadow almost blotting out parts of the sitter’s face. I sat next to him, and I couldn’t see him completely through the shadow. Others saw it taking up space between us, his face completely shifting and disappearing in shadow. It wasn’t frightening but certainly more tangible than I was used to. Tonight my shadow spot felt very reminiscent of the seance.
I walked all around the apartment that night looking for other anomalies, but only that one spot grabbed my attention each time I walked by, whether I was looking for it or not. It always stood out, from the corner of my eye. It felt different. I never did make sense of it in the moment. At the time, my mind couldn’t quite grasp it. I’m not sure what I was expecting, I guess I was waiting for ancestors to show up. But the shadowy spot was down low and to the right of the television - just above where my current dog Parker’s bed is situated..
The next day I spent the afternoon listening to music around my apartment and prepping for an upcoming investigation. I had all my gear out on the counter for testing, charging, replacing batteries, etc. I was employing a bit of Shufflemancy, a tool I’ve been toying with for months but recently learned the official term and definition from @liminally.lou. If you’re interested in investigating with this method, make sure to read their article on the topic.
Lord Huron The Night We Met came on, a haunting and beautiful melody. I couldn’t shake the thoughts in my head that Clem was here. I picked up her ashes and danced around the apartment with her, the way we used to do. I was sobbing by the end of the song.
When I use Shufflemancy, inevitably certain phrases will jump out at me. It’s like looking at your phone and noticing 11:11. You can’t sit there watching the numbers on your phone until they get there. But if something leads you to notice it when it happens, it’s significant. Thats my personal rule, anyway. As I’m sobbing, I notice the phrase “the nights were filled with terrors,” followed by “and your eyes were filled with tears.”
At this point I start to journal about Clem and my experience. I visited the Skagit Valley Tulip festival the previous weekend and brought back several bouquets to honor my loved ones who had passed. The tulips are getting a bit wilty, but none of them have opened up yet. I’m leaning heavily over the countertop, writing sadly, somewhat bowed down in front of the tulips. I sense some movement and look up just in time to see a dark purple tulip opening all the way up, mere inches from my face. From 100% closed to 100% open. Right there. In front of my face.
I’m stunned. I have no words. Do tulips normally do this? Do they always open up thjs quickly and right in plain sight?? Don’t they do it in secret in the dark of night or something? Granted, I’m not much of a flower girly but I’ve never noticed anything like this before. I continue writing and it expands further, a petal falling to the countertop. I wouldn’t believe it if someone described this to me. Hell, I’m not even sure if I believe it now.
At this point, I start to investigate. I turn on my SpiritChat box (less expensive version of Ovilus), my SB7 spirit box, and several EMF meters.
I’m a bit embarrassed to admit that I still didn’t know who was trying to communicate at this point. I still have trouble trusting myself - I thought it might be multiple people. I supposed that is the issue with opening up the ritual to so many.
I make note of a bit of numerology in the midst of this session: 2:22. A quick google search informs me this angel number involves “balance, collaboration, love, and harmony. According to spiritual author Doreen Virtue, 222 means “Trust that everything is working out exactly as it's supposed to, with Divine blessings for everyone involved,” and “Let go and have faith.”https://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/a40463098/222-angel-number-meaning/
I begin listening to the spirit box and below are the words I hear. Words from the SpiritChat box are interspersed as they appeared in [brackets]. Non-Spirit Box sounds, sensations, and general observations will be included in (parentheses).
SB7 Spirit box / [SpiritChat]:
searching. Results. Christmas. Week. (EMF spiking on K2 and Mel meter) Hello?] hey. You’re thinking. [terror] (“terror” may refer to the words I noticed earlier in the Lord Huron song):
When the night was full of terrors. And your eyes were filled with tears
(And possibly a call back to my dream about Clem leaving.)
(EMF spike) Dogs. [promoted] Hi. [set free] (EMF spike)
It’s here. If we ever. Wooded. Team. The witch. Promise. [officials] oath.
(I get up to get a couple mag light flashlights in the other room to see if they produce any activity. They do.)
Where’d she go? Intent. Frustrate. Play.
(Flashlight turns on for 1-2 min, then off)
Calm down. [the gardens] (blue flashlight on, off)
(I ask if they can turn the black light on.)
Patience. (Black light on) Perfect. (Black light off) (emf spike to 1.9) [its raining] (it did a few min later)
Believe it. Good afternoon. Consecutive. (Blue light on, then off) [olive branch]
I then turn off the spirit box but leave SpirtChat on. I move to a Ghost Tube Seer app which takes environmental readings and uses AI to translate into a video. I was blown away.
I hover the app camera display over Clem’s wooden box of ashes. The app slowly generates a photo of a headstone, complete with tulips scattered around the grave. It is at this point I’m certain that Clem is present, and I’m likely looking at an image of her grave. I say hi to her. The blue flashlight turns on and off.
I notice a second grave in the picture with a rainbow in the background. It may be my aunt is here as well, I was hoping she would show up today and I always associate her with rainbow lights.
I have a diamond shaped glass pendent that I hang in the window to catch the light and throw tiny rainbows around my room in the mornings. I bought it in memory of her and think of her and smile every morning when the rainbows arrive.
(The lights go on and off pretty randomly.) [welcome] [ongoing] (black flashlight goes on, both lights go on, both quickly turn off) [very special] (blue light on) [captain] [pretty much]
I attempt to communicate using the flashlights a bit. I tell her how much I love her and that I’m so glad she’s here. I say hi and thank Aunt Eleanor too, just in case. I turn off the equipment and say goodbye.
*Some thoughts on the Ghost Tube Seer:
I know there is some controversy (primarily on Reddit) about the accuracy of using an AI tool for paranormal investigating. GhostTube has been recommended to me by several trusted sources, and I’ve found the images to be a mix of both potentially random / confusing as well as very accurate and contextual to the situation. I’ve been using it more and more lately to add layers to an investigation.
AI can be feared, misunderstood, and untrusted (for good reason), but the images that are generated are no different than words and sounds generated by measuring the environment in much the same way as other apps and devices performing similar functions. See more details about this from GhostTube: How does GhostTube SEER work?
As with anything paranormal, it’s difficult to settle on any concrete determination. A myriad of tools and methods are optimal for producing well-rounded evidence and conclusions. GhostTube also encourages us to pair evidence with multiple sources. If the tulip had only opened up on its own, apropos of nothing, and nothing else happened - it would have been cool but not necessarily paranormal. If the image had appeared on its own in a different location. If I hadn’t been attempting Shufflemancy with the Lord Huron song. If I hadn’t done the ritual and been actively thinking and journaling about Clem, not to mention dancing around the room with her ashes.
If only one of those things had been true, and not all, I might have chalked it up to just an interesting observation. It’s the combination of everything that makes it noteworthy. The image simply adds to the other evidence and given that, the other evidence also lends some credence to the image. I haven’t given up on the Ghost Tube Seer app yet, but I am treading cautiously. And always open to (constructive) thoughts and feedback from others.
All of that said, please don’t cheat yourself out of an experience that makes you feel a certain way. It’s still worth noting. Don’t rely on one source of evidence, but also don’t discount evidence outright just because it’s singular. More information may reveal itself later after further research and investigations. This is why I try to keep thorough notes of any findings.
I’m making this post public, not only to share my Clementine’s story and this profound experience she gave me, but also to impress upon you that spirits are with us all the time. They’re everywhere. Even our pets. You don’t necessarily have to go to the famous haunted house or abandoned mental hospital to talk to a spirit. Your loved ones and spirits of all kinds are all around you. Right here. Right now.
So go ahead. Sit on a bench in the park and catch up with your aunt. My grandfather likes to go hiking and walk along the beach with me. My grandmothers joined me in a tulip field. Car rides are especially active - I never know who might show up. Once you ask them to join you, they will be there. Once you open up to Spirit, they will send you signs. All you have to do is allow yourself to be open to them. It truly is that simple.
And as the amazing @prettyfnspooky would say, investigate yourself.
Song by Lord Huron
I am not the only traveler
Who has not repaid his debt
I've been searching for a trail to follow again
Take me back to the night we met
And then I can tell myself
What the hell I'm supposed to do
And then I can tell myself
Not to ride along with you
I had all and then most of you
Some and now none of you
Take me back to the night we met
I don't know what I'm supposed to do
Haunted by the ghost of you
Oh, take me back to the night we met
When the night was full of terrors
And your eyes were filled with tears
When you had not touched me yet
Oh, take me back to the night we met
I had all and then most of you
Some and now none of you
Take me back to the night we met
I don't know what I'm supposed to do
Haunted by the ghost of you
Take me back to the night we met
Source: LyricFind